Life has so many difficulties rather so many tears, Never knew why did we have to go through so much just to gain a few moments of happiness. Yet again a strange word HAPPINESS I do know the meaning of that word, but than in this process of living life on others terms the "happiness" has no meaning no essence. I had lost all my courage to live a more satisfying life.
Today I live more pseudo life. What am I doing all day? Whatever it is has no meaning...
Somewhere deep down in my heart, in my mind I wanted to find love, so much love for me that it would last forever but... Strangely I can't find it. Life is indeed mechanical/ Robotic these days that we don't show affection through action but it has to be told so as to no need to use your mind... so hard ironic isn't?
My mind replays all the moments happy/sad/mad/stupid.. I don't laugh anymore...Its like done everything & seen all....
Why some things hurt you, don't know these answers now....
I just seem to float with times & hope it passes away soon...
Being so afraid of the future that I get numb when I think that nobody is there for anybody till the last, because nothing of this kind exist, I am sure you must have felt this way sometimes in your life...
Saw Mom dying slowly day by day...never wanted to see her leave me alone but she did, I miss her ever since.... I lost myself with her & just long to hear her soothing voice which had kept me secure till than. I wonder whether she misses me...? When she was alive never thought she was important but now... I miss her in my soul!
So many mistakes/wrong decisions committed in life but now it doesn't matter because it was my life..didn't put anybody's life on hold. I hope today those mistakes have taught me well.
Today I don't think the pain has diminished but my ability to cope my pain is better....
If you reading this Thank you for your time...
